Sometimes, we get asked some hard questions like, “where do you see yourself in five years?” or “what’s your favorite food?” or “how are you, really?”. Sometimes, we get asked even harder questions like, “what is your passion?” or “what is most important to you in life?” or “why do you love your partner?”
This. The “why him/her?” question, the question that causes us to pause first before answering.
And we pause, not because we don’t know why. Our speech stutters, not because we don’t know the answer. But because, sometimes, we just get stuck within the limitations of our vocabulary to express the reason behind the love that we give. We pause, not because we fell in love with our eyes closed. We become silent for a second, not because we have never really sat and thought the answer through. It’s just that we have no language for the things that we deeply wish to say.
We’ve realised that person we love isn’t just a list of characteristics. They aren’t just a personality type, a set of formulas or some nice adjectives. The person that we love, as a whole, is indeed, greater than the sum of their parts.
And so, we try our best to come up with an answer, we try our best to fit our hearts and our minds into a small collection of words that we know. “I felt her so intensely, words seem unfit,” writes the poet, Atticus. “I needed to paint her, grab colors with my hands and throw them at the canvas.”
If one day we find ourselves lost for words to describe why we love the person that we love, don’t stress. Because, deep down inside, we know that even if we muster up every nice word there is in this world, they won’t even begin to capture the beauty and the complexity that is the person that we have chosen to love.
May your love always be beyond words could ever describe,