What crosses your mind when you hear the words “wedding planning”? The first few things would probably be: budget, decor, dress, food, venue, etc. But when wedding planning becomes a reality that you have to face, you would presumably realise that there are unexpectedly so many other dimensions when it comes to planning the wedding of your dreams. And we’re not just talking about the bits and bobs, such as preparing gifts and thank you cards for your bridesmaids or groomsmen, or making sure that you have enough bobby pins to hold up your hair on your special day.
For instance, do you ever imagine doing all the paperwork, administration, and other legal procedures prior to your wedding? There are so many things that go on behind-the-scenes that lead to the wedding day itself, things that would never cross our minds unless it is us who’s on the journey of preparation. So many requirements, terms, conditions, and other needs to be met before the ceremonies can even begin.
But have you ever wondered if you put in as much effort into planning your marriage as you do into planning your wedding?
Marriage planning isn’t a popular term, most of us most likely have never heard of it. Yet, this kind of planning should be necessary. After all, your marriage is going to last way, way longer than your wedding day, right?
Planning for your marriage simply looks like this: talking. It’s simply about having a conversation and being vulnerable with what is on your mind. It’s about asking the hard questions you’ve always been afraid to ask because your heart was never ready to hear all the answers. It’s about finding the blindspots in your relationship and talking about how to overcome them. It’s about making an agreement as to how both of you will handle conflict, anger, sadness, or any other emotions and baggage that might surface as you step into the unknown, a.k.a. your marriage.
What if we prepared for marriages as much as we prepare for weddings? What if we applied terms and conditions on marriages and not just on weddings? Not as a standard to be reached or as meaningless requirements to be fulfilled, but as preparation for something that will last a lifetime, ‘till death do you part.