The two key ingredients of a healthy relationship — trust and communication — both take a while to build and rebuild. Relationships are messy, and yet, relationships aren’t just about overcoming mistakes or patching up the holes. Relationships are meant to be intentionally built. Relationships require a lot of our energy and sometimes that’s exactly the reason why people give up. All around us, we see broken relationships because of broken trust and communication.
Although no relationship can be perfect, a relationship can be growing. No amount of broken communication is beyond fixing. And to have a relationship that keeps growing, we need to have the right kind of mindset: a growth mindset, not a fixed mindset.
The fixed mindset sees their world in black and white: things are either good or bad, and there’s nothing that can be done about it. People with this mindset believe that they are unchangeable, and that there is an ideal way to do life — by having an ideal marriage, an ideal partner, or an ideal relationship. Anything outside of the ideal, they believe, is inherently flawed. Failure, to them, is a sign that something’s just “not for them”.
The growth mindset, on the other hand, recognizes the evolving nature of everything. They are not setback by failure, but they see it as an opportunity to grow. The growth mindset acknowledges that everything will be better — including themselves and the people around them.
A relationship can grow if both the participants are teachable and are willing to change — it takes two to tango in this case. A growth mindset would not neglect the importance of fixing a broken communication, however hard and time consuming that process is. Getting back up from a big argument or a failure in communication is messy, it almost feels like starting all over again. But good things are always worth fighting for.