There’s something we learned a while back that has turned our world upside-down ever since. It’s the concept of Love Language. Dr. Gary Chapman outlines five ways to receive and express love: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, physical touch, acts of service, and quality time. He wrote the theory in his book that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love and better communication in a relationship can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language that the recipient understands. So when you’re not “speaking” the recipients love language, it will be difficult for the recipient to feel loved.
It’s like this: a dog wags its tail when it’s excited and a cat raises its tail when it’s scared. The same raised tail action, different meaning. And as we are unique individuals with different needs, the way we express and desire to receive expressions of love differs as well.
Amazing, isn’t it? This concept really opened our eyes, making us realize why sometimes our expressions of love aren’t met with the same enthusiasms or why we don’t feel as loved as we expected.
We believe that this brilliant concept can be applied not only to romantic relationships or marriage, but this idea can also help parents to transform their relationship with their children. Children receive love emotionally and because they are all different, we must pay attention to their individual needs. Parents must learn to speak their children’s love languages if they want their children to feel loved.
Parents, one of the ways to discover your children’s love language is to observe the way they express love to others and analyze what they complain about most often or even what they request from you most often.
For example, praise might not be met with an excited response if your child isn’t a “words of affirmation” type of person, or lavish gifts might not get much of a grateful reaction like, let’s say, reading time, if your child “speaks” quality time instead of receiving gifts.
We believe that every parent loves their children; but knowing that they are loved and feeling like they are loved is not always the same. In today’s day and age, loving your child alone might not be enough; you also have to make sure that your child feels loved.
So, parents, we want to encourage you today to express your love to your children the way they need to be loved, for we believe that by making your children feel loved and valued, you are helping them to grow up into a happy and responsible adult. Let’s start today. Observe the way your children expresses love, be more aware of their actions and their response towards your own expression of love, or take an online test (available on 5 love languages website) and discover the love language that your children speak.
Wishing you the best of luck,