“I will share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals,” says Felisa as she lifts up her face for a split second to look straight into Norman’s eyes.
Marriage is the integration of dreams, visions, stories and realities. Moments of decision making that lead up to a marriage is crucial, as it is the training ground on which the two of you strive and learn to become one, picking up the pieces over and over again as you get back up every time you fall.
But that’s the tricky part — that with learning, you are also bound to fall. To fall to your knees, to lay down your selfish ambitions and desires. “Submission” is a scary word in our society, but in a team effort such as marriage, a great amount of sacrifice and selflessness is indispensable. So, how do we find beauty in the struggle to surrender? Felisa put this beautifully into words,
“I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement.”
In this journey of integration, it takes two to tango. It takes two forgiving hearts to create a loving, healthy, and purposeful relationship that never ceases to move forward. Kayla Carter says, “it takes selflessness, humility, and loyalty to your other half. You have to reset your mind and realize that there is more than just you on the team now.”
There is more to your story than just you and your dreams now. There is the other side, the other perspective, the other culture, the other backgrounds and wounds and mysteries. The journey of becoming one and getting to know each other never ends. And, in the end, the decision to love is what holds everything together so beautifully. To love, therefore, is to surrender.
There is beauty in surrender, because surrender, now, no longer means defeat. Surrender means to lay yourself down and put each other first. And, therefore, to surrender is to love.