Journal
Candle in the wind
Pupu Paula Portraits by Fen by felicia
07
Dec 2015

When the news of the Paris attack broke, I cried. I heard the sound of my heart breaking into a million pieces. I was crushed. I was sad because not only did their acts claimed hundreds of innocent lives, but it also attacked the joys of humanity!

The incident made me so angry and frustrated because there was essentially nothing I could do about it. I couldnt turn back time. And even if I could, I wouldnt know how to stop it either. I didnt know what to do but get down on my knees and prayed. I prayed and prayed with tears streaming down my face. I had no words. I couldnt say anything. But I knew that God can hear my heart.

Suddenly I heard myself recite the Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Accept the things I cannot change. Accept the things I cannot change. There was an internal battle going on in my head at this time. My mind was in a game of tug-of-war, between feeling anger that is unwilling to accept and the peace that is encouraging me to release forgiveness. In the midst of all that, all I saw was a candle. A candle in the wind. Soft lights and gentle reflections cutting through the rain. Its light flickered in the wind, but it didnt die.

I got off of my knees and stood up abruptly. I sketched the image I had in my head. The rain, the darkness, the flickering light that never died. And this series of portraits was based on that. In a way, its a visualization of my prayer, of a heart that is struggling to accept and of peace releasing forgiveness.

Thank you, Pupu Paula and Lightworks Jakarta for believing in my vision and taking part in making my dreams come alive.

Love,

Fen

 
 
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