Parenting Corner: Fly, bird, fly!

Ryu & Reiner by Fen | written by Maya

There was a little bird, newly hatched. After feeding her young, the mother encouraged the bird to take flight. The little bird peered out of her hole in the tree. The way down got the best of her and she ran back into her warm nest. Her mother asked her to come out again with her, “Come on. Spread your wings out like this.” The little bird didn’t want to. “We’re birds. We don’t fall. Just spread your wings and flap. It will be okay.” The mother tried to assure her as she saw the little bird’s frightened look. “Come on, it’s easy!” her mother called out again. Still, the little bird didn’t budge. “If you don’t do it now, you’ll never do it,” she said to no avail. The little bird hesitated, quickly spread her wings out, and whimpered as she ran back to her nest. The mother has had it. “That’s it! This is so easy and you can’t even do it! You’ll never fly now!” She told the little bird angrily, and flew out of their tree.

I’ve found myself in similar situation before. I am the Mother Bird. Whenever I help my children out with their homework, I cannot understand how even after countless repetitions, 2+2 can be anything other than 4. I’d inhale and exhale for the first few tries and use everything I’ve got left in me to hold myself from passing any kinds of judgments on my children (although I have found that silently redirecting the rage towards their teachers helped a little.) I’ve got to admit there are so many other things I would rather subject myself to than to teach my children. I’d tell myself that teaching them was hard because they just don’t get it, or that I don’t have the patience or the passion for it. I can go on all day making a million excuses why I’m not the right person to teach them. But the fact will remain: as their parent, it is my job to teach them. And that I am just the right person to do that.

It is my job to tell them that no matter how many times we’ve failed, we need to get up and try again, because quitting is not an option. It is my job to tell them that there are no stupid people in this world and that when we put our mind to it, we too can be successful. Most importantly, it’s my job to show them kindness, to motivate them when they can’t and to help them paint a good image about themselves. Because hey, when life hands you lemons... suck it! Patience is just something I’m going to have to master.

The story actually ends with the mother coming back to her nest only to find her young has been turned into another’s dinner, because she was an easy catch. Even when she found herself in trouble, her mother’s words still rang in her ears, telling her that she would not be able to do it, so the poor little bird didn’t even try.

Let’s make sure that our children will learn to believe in themselves because we believed in them first. Let us do our jobs well so that when we leave the nest, they will be ready to fly on their own.

Happy parenting!

Maya

Photos courtesy of adorable twin babies, Ryu and Reiner. Photographed by Fen for Baby AXIOO.

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13 Nov 2013

Little Princess

Baby Celine by Ivan
“Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four Cs. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.” ― Walt Disney Company and now we add another C : Celine
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24 Sep 2013

For Father of A Boy

Baby Avory by Fen
There are little eyes upon you, and they are watching night and day There are little ears that quickly take in every word you say. There are little hands all eager to do anything you do. And a little Boy who is dreaming of the day he will be like you. You are the little fellow idol, You are the wisest of the wise. In his little mind about you no suspicions ever rise. He believe in you devoutly. Hold that all you say and do. He will say and do in your way. When he is all grown up like you. There is a wide eyed little fellow who believes you are always right. and his ears are always open. and he watched day and night. You are setting an example, everyday in all you do. For the little boy who is watching to grow up to be like you.
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23 Sep 2013

Brothers

Baby Christopher by Fen
A brother is someone with fun-loving ways with wit and good humor to spare. He does thoughtful thingswithout any fuss and when you're in trouble he's there. A brother is more than just part of the family.. he's also a friend through and through. And that's a description that certainly fits a wonderful brother like you.
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19 Sep 2013

Ferris Wheel Dreams

Eugene Sasha by Fen
Ferris Wheel Dreams With winking ferris-wheel stars aglow Footsteps navigate, quiet, meek Behind the wall, little girl, tip-toe The weight of inches left to grow Falls heavy as she takes a peek With winking ferris-wheel stars aglow Carnival bright-show overflow Blue pink light leak Behind the wall, little girl, tip-toe Black white finger-tips, the answer's no to midnight roving hide-and-seek With winking ferris-wheel stars aglow Black white lips, white hands below And faded salt-stains stream her cheek Behind the wall, little girl, tip-toe A hope diverted, back-hand blow And shock-waves into slumber sneak With winking ferris-wheel stars aglow Behind the wall, little girl, tip-toe
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19 Sep 2013

Dear World

Baby Ryan

My young son starts to school today. It's going to be sort of strange and new to him for awhile, and I wish you would sort of treat him gently. You see, up to now he's been king of the roost. He's been boss of the backyard. His mother has always been near to soothe his wounds and repair his feelings. But now things are going to be different. This morning he's going to walk down the front steps, wave his hand, and start out on the great adventure...It is and adventure that might take him across continents, across oceans. It's an adventure that will probably include wars and tragedy and sorrow. To live his life in the world he will have to live in, will require faith and love and courage. So, World, I wish you would sort of look after him. Take him by the hand and teach him things he will have to know. But do it gently, if you can. He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just, that all men are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero...that for every crooked politician there is a great and dedicated leader. Teach him that for every enemy, there is a friend. Steer him away from envy, if you can...and teach him the secret of quiet laughter. In school, World, teach him it is far more honorable to fail that to cheat.Teach him to have faith in his own idea, even if everyone says they are wrong. Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with tough people. Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone is getting on the bandwagon. Teach him to listen to all men - but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take just the good that siphons through. Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he's sad...Teach him there is no shame in tears. Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in success. Treat him gently, World, if you can, but don't coddle him...Because only the test of fire makes fine steel...Let him have the courage to be impatient...Let him have the patience to be brave. Let him be no other man's man. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself. Because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind. This is quite and order, World, but see what you can do. He's such a nice little fellow, my son - Dan Valentine

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17 Sep 2013

Sisters

by Ivan
A sister is someone who loves you from the heart, No matter how much you argue you cannot be drawn apart. She is a joy that cannot be taken away, Once she enters your life, she is there to stay. A friend who helps you through difficult times, Her comforting words are worth much more than dimes. A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile, These memories last for miles and miles. When she is by your side, the world is filled with life, When she is not around, your days are full of strife. A sister is a blessing, who fills your heart with love, She flies with you in life with the beauty of a dove. A companion to whom you can express your feelings, She doesn’t let you get bored at family dealings. Whether you are having your ups or downs, She always helps you with a smile and never frowns. With a sister you cannot have a grudge, She is as sweet as chocolate and as smooth as fudge. Having a sister is not just a trend, It is knowing you can always turn to her, your best friend. poem by Shiv Sharma
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17 Sep 2013

In My Arms

Baby Eve by Ivan
As I hold you in my arms and you gently rock to sleep. I try to memorize your face. Your tiny hands and feet. I know too soon this moment will just a memory be You will be grown and on your own So I will treasure every moment to have memories I can keep.
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17 Sep 2013

Handmade by God

Dimitri Pregnancy by Fen
Handmade by God You are very special. There is no one just like you. Created by the master. God made you to be you. You are very special Exclusively designed. and I am glad you are mine. He fashioned your heart. He knew you from the start. Unique in all your ways. to praise Him all of your days
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16 Sep 2013

A Bundle of Joy

Baby Miho by Ivan
I feel in love with you at first sight You gurgled and then screamed and we knew you were alright Our bundle of joy who arrived in the night I have never felt such completeness You made all the sickness and pain disappeared You were the most beautiful baby who arrive in the night Love for my baby felt so right There are no conditions, just a wonderful feeling as your mother I loved you so much Your little hands, so gentle to touch Your skin so soft, you can hardly feel it This perfect bundle who arrived in the night
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13 Sep 2013
All the way to the bottom already?