- Have you chosen the baby’s name already? If yes, can you explain how you picked the name?
Yes. We are going to name her Lara Harper Tan. Lara means cheerful–happy. It’s a universal truth that parents all around the world want their children to be happy and safe, while Harper means pleasant and brave. Our hope is that she’ll grow up to be a brave kid who isn’t afraid to explore and face new things in life. And finally, Tan is my husband’s family name.
- Do you sometimes think it’s a bit creepy that there’s a thing growing inside you?
Creepy, amazed and blessed at the same time. So many new things to learn and I know that my physical body will change it’s shape like real soon (that was real creepy!). At first it felt so unreal when I started to feel her movements, hiccups, jabs & kicks inside my tummy–especially this last semester which is closer to my due date–the movements are so strong that I’m afraid that my tummy will explode at any time!
- How do you love the baby? Do you already love him/her?
I can honestly say I do! I do already love her before I even met her. I can’t stop cuddling & rubbing my belly, talking to her and I love feeling her kicks and feeling her every move inside of me. I just never thought I would be like this and suddenly I became very overwhelmed by this little girl hanging out inside of me.
- Any stories behind or during this pregnancy that you won’t forget?
I had a miscarriage during my first pregnancy, which is right before this one. I remember it was three months after we got married. There was a business trip out of town, so I didn’t realize that I was pregnant. The moment I knew was when I was late for my period. I bought a test pack and checked it on the spot, and lo and behold! It was positive. As soon as I got home from China, went to the doctor and found out I was already five weeks pregnant. I was so so happy. Maybe I was too underestimating and had felt myself strong enough, so I still went to the office and did my daily activities as usual. But five days after the check up, to my dismay, spots appeared and my stomach had cramps. It felt like a period.
So we rushed to the doctor, and found that the fetus did not appear during the ultrasound. Not long after that, the fetus fell on it’s own out of my miss v, and we lost our baby.
At first I couldn’t stop crying, but eventually I accepted it. I was guided by Didie and his whole family, and they told me that it wasn’t meant to be with this baby. After that, I recovered. Made myself fit again, and we tried again, praying for the best. After six months, on December 2017, I was pregnant again.
I felt everything. I felt happy, scared, traumatic, everything all at once. I really took care of myself and kept praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy. I was even afraid to go anywhere except for the doctor. I was afraid to tell people the good news too! As soon as everything was stable and I entered my second trimester, I had the courage to tell everyone, and as far as now, everything’s good with our baby girl who’s ready to meet us next week!
- Can you be OK with the idea of things not going according to plan?
We all know that life won’t always go perfectly and it will not always go according to plan. But no matter what, we must always be well-prepared, be accepting, hope for the best and believe that God has a good plan for us.
- What’s the best thing about being a mom-to-be now?
I guess, everything! Every single process of this pregnancy is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I will never forget this amazing experience. I know that I’m going to face obstacles because everything is going to be so new to me, but I believe that even the hardest days are going to be the best days of my life.
- Is there anything you want to tell the baby ?
I will forever be grateful for our time spent together while she was in my belly and for the moments that have yet to come. She is going to be our greatest adventure and I want her to know that I love her to the moon and back. I simply can’t wait to meet her!