As a first time mom, we all try to make the best decisions. For me, i believed what’s best was to have a natural unmedicated birth. I thought what better way to experience motherhood fully than to experience natural birth itself. So i have set my mind to it and was even excited for the time to come. However apparently my body had a different plan. Entering third trimester i was diagnosed with preeclampsia*.
*Preeclampsia is a pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure and signs of damage to another organ system, most often the liver and kidneys. Preeclamptic women will have a high level of protein in their urine and often also have swelling in the feet, legs, and hands. This condition usually begins after 20 weeks of pregnancy in women whose blood pressure had been normal. Preeclampsia can lead to serious — even fatal — complications for both you and your baby. If you have preeclampsia, the only cure is delivery of your baby
I was in total shock because i didn’t see this coming at all. How can i be diagnosed with something that i’ve prayed so hard to not get into? I just couldn’t believe and refused to believe. I remembered googling and browsed online about women who overcame preeclampsia and able to do natural birth. So i thought i still had hope, even if it’s a very small chance i’d hold on to it.
As time passed by, my condition had gotten from bad to worse. The swelling was so unbearable that i could barely walk and the blood pressure just kept escalating everyday. Finally the doctor made the final verdict for a C-Section. There goes my birth plan out of the window.
I remembered crying so hard because i was so disappointed knowing that my body wasn’t able to do what it was designed to do. Then one day my husband said, doesn’t matter how the baby arrives as long as both mom and baby are healthy and well. That’s right, that is exactly what’s suppose to matter in the end.
All births are equally valid, whether natural, assisted or surgical (like mine). You delivered a human and became a mother. That’s it. Doing it the ‘non-natural’ way doesn’t make you any less than a mom.
On the day of Ocean’s birth, everything is far better than my tightly gripped plans imagined. Ocean was born a little tiny, but she is a strong little fighter that did not need to be put in NICU. I, on the other hand, had to be put to a special room because during operation my blood pressure suddenly increased rapidly. They had to monitor and stabilize my blood pressure. Yes i wouldn’t choose C-Section as my ideal birth, but it saved me and my daughter’s life, so i wouldn’t have it any other way.
Perhaps my most important piece of advice to mothers , understand that there are limits, and if the storm returns and something is too difficult to bear, it’s ok to take a step back and sit something out to protect your heart. One of the greatest lessons I have learned in this process is how much God truly loves me. Despite my fears and doubt, what matters the most is He blessed us with a baby. I am incredibly thankful.