In this day and age, I think that the “surrendered” women that we have men have been subconsciously taught to expect to marry since we were young at heart can no longer be found. They have been replaced with the strong-willed, independent women who fight for equality. On the other hand, men are no longer in search for the same kind of women our grandfathers wanted to live with. We want more and we want equality – especially in the areas where it was convenient for us. Expectations were no longer the same, stereotypes have been destroyed and replaced, and we are left feeling clueless and untaught by our parents about marriage.
Marriage is different for everyone. That much is true. But I’ve realized that the ingredients of marriage have not really changed no matter what era we are living in. Men will always demand respect, and women will always demand love. A man will love his wife if he feels respected and a woman will respect her husband if she feels loved. It’s a vicious cycle, where both usually demand the other to begin first.
I’m sure that married couples know what I’m talking about and we can discuss about this all day. But today, I would like to take the time to encourage the men to go all out for our wives no matter what the circumstances are. There is a good chance that our definition of how a woman must respect a man comes from years of constantly watching our elders do it. But please be reminded that there is also a good chance that the women we marry are not the same kind of women that we have watched growing up. There is a difference there and our perceptions need to be adjusted. Going all out in love for our wives does not make us losers. In fact, it makes us better men. It is always more important to be kind than to be right. It is okay to put your arms around her and tell her why she is the woman for you even during a fight. It’s okay to be the first to say you’re sorry. And it’s okay to allow her some space to fulfill her ambitions and her dreams even if it means more work for you at times. Take comfort in the fact that these efforts will not go away in vain. It will come back to you, in multiples. Believe me, I’ve proven it.
So men, let’s do our part. Let’s go all out in love for our wives, our strong-willed and independent wives, knowing that world peace begins there.
Alun, if I’ve got one marriage advice for you, it’s this. Congratulations on your wedding! May your journey with Fanny be ever so sweet!